we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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