Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
