fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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