No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
