do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
