There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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