All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
They took my balls.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Randomize
