Is it normal to miss your booty call?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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