Fuck appropriateness.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
