Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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