Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
