I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
