I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
