Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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