Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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