you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
