I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
