One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
