I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
