Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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