Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
