now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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