so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize