So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
