i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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