She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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