just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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