Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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