Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
