Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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