I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
