Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
