You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
