I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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