O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
