k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
