life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
