just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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