I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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