i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
