i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
soo... how was my night?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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