Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
