So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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