Can Purell be used as lube?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You took a bar mat shot.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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