so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
