your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
