No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
