How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
