My brain says no but my pants say off.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my being single is dangerous.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize