yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
