I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize