worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
be right there i have to get my cape
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
