I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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