Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i dont even know how to be here
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
