I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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