i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
