I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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