I'd wear matching sweaters with you
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
