and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
