ya dads aren't the best wingmen
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she told me i tasted like america
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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