Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
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