We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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