i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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