I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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