Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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