so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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