Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
