We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize