you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
