i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
