and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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