your room smells of hookers.
And success
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
