yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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