is your mom at the bar?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
