What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
