Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
