You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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