I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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