Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
