He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
